Two days and lots of ‘sannidhi’1 worshipping later, I have a made a few observations/introspections.
I have been observing people praying at the temples. Sometimes I see people with so much religious fervour it makes me feel guilty(?!). Many a time, when I was standing at a place with a nice view of the ‘vigraha’2 I wanted to move away and give the place to the person behind me, who probably deserved it more, or who’d rather have a better use of the darshan. All along, in all the temples, through countless idols, I never could actually evoke any kind of religious reverence or even some kind of respect for what I was seeing. All that did was try and appreciate the sculpting, the architecture, the decorations, etc., but nothing whatsoever, to do with God, worship or faith. And sometimes, I even was really angry when I saw people worshipping. For instance, it’s understandable to suddenly become really all worked up (like lifting their joined hands up over one’s heads and shouting out the Lord’s name) when an ‘abhishekam’3 is being done on the idol (although i fail to understand, how that particular instance is more sanctimonius than when there is just the idol..although it’s supposedly the same God with the same powers!!!). But what really ticked me off was it’s been done so many countless times over that they fail to actually see what’s happening. So they do it mechanically as soon as they see the poojari4 is doing something to the idol. So when the abhishekam is over and the poojari is just washing away the ghee, or milk or whatever that’s been used, again the people start of with the whole hulla!
The next gripe that I have is with people chanting the mantras/shloka. To me, anything that’s been said without knowing/understanding the meaning is useless/pointless. So when I see people trying to keep up with the ‘shastrigal’4 in saying the shlokas, I really get irritated; irritated, because, even knowing whatever little sanskrit i know, i can clearly make out that they are horrendously mispronouncing the words that they have just mindlessly memorised. And even when pronounced correctly, they wouldn’t know what they are praying about. For instance, I have asked many people the meaning of verse in ‘Kanda shasti kavasam’5: ‘Dagu dagu digu digu dangu dingugu, vindhu vindhu mayilon vindhu” (I kid you not, those are the exact words), but i still havn’t got a satisfactory answer. And to me then, a “dagu dagu digu digu dangu dingugu’ has the same significance as a “laalakku dol dappima”6 !
To top it all, there is this commercialization of worship! Chidambaram Natarajar temple is something that i have been wanting to visit for a really long time. And so, it was quite shocking , that when i actually went there, i just couldn’t wait to get out of there. I certainly had my expectations right: I was not so religious, so i didn’t expect an out-of-this-world experience. In fact, the rule about asking men folk to enter the sanctum sanctorum bare-chested actually lent a spirit of something really important about to happen upon entry. But, with the crowd and all those sweaty bodies, I was happy to take a single glance at the idol (which anyway was not visible, partly due to the crowds and mostly due to the really dim lighting inside the altar) and make a quick getaway. But what really left a bad taste was the “kovil pattars’4 marketing the prasadams and selling the blessings. It is quite understandable that the temple is run completely by a family of ‘Gurukkals’4 residing at the temple premises and money is hard to come by! But it should not be done at the expense of taking away the devotees from what they actually came to place for: praying. After a point of time, I was feeling like a deer being stalked by hungry predators. I am actually feeling sad that i really could not appreciate the place, the architecture, the history and the mythology. All that I would think of, when somebody mentions the temple, is not Mr. Natarajar but the face of the sweet talking pattar who tried to get me to pay a whole lot of money to get ‘special’ blessings from God couriered fortnightly to my home!
I am not sure if I am being very critical because I am losing my faith or if it’s this constant exposure to such blind faith/unfounded beliefs/touting that has made me lose any respect for the Almighty, or atleast for the ‘messengers’ of the Almighty.
Footnotes:
1. place where the idol has been installed/consecrated; an altar
2. idol
3. ceremony of ablutions and symbolic offerings
4. temple priest
5. a prayer to Lord Muruga asking for his blessings
6. the starting words from a Tamil movie song
